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Post by ObiWanFTW on Jan 11, 2006 20:45:52 GMT -5
chuck norris isnt hung like a horse,horses are hung like chuck norris.
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Post by DarthMaximus on Jan 11, 2006 21:17:16 GMT -5
Dude what you been smokin' ?
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Post by ObiWanFTW on Jan 12, 2006 17:29:49 GMT -5
hey john, chuck norris jokes are all over the net,I just thought I might share some with you guys.
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Post by ObiWanFTW on Jan 12, 2006 21:32:17 GMT -5
chuck norris ordered a big mac at burger king and got one.
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Post by D-Vader on Jan 12, 2006 22:22:19 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can not buy cigarettes or alcohol because his ID card officially lists his as "ageless". www.4q.cc/chuck |
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Post by D-Vader on Jan 12, 2006 22:22:49 GMT -5
Even better:
Everytime Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks someone an angel gets its wings. But Chuck Norris hates angels. So everytime an angel gets its wings it also gets a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Post by Jango-Joe1 on Jan 12, 2006 22:28:12 GMT -5
Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding
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Post by D-Vader on Jan 14, 2006 1:55:12 GMT -5
Chuck Norris is so tough that he blows bubbles with beef jerkey.
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Post by ObiWanFTW on Jan 14, 2006 9:46:44 GMT -5
Chuck Norris is so tough that he blows bubbles with beef jerkey. LOL CLASSIC! |
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Post by D-Vader on Jan 14, 2006 10:13:42 GMT -5
Since Joe added a Vin Diesel one....
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
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Post by D-Vader on Jan 14, 2006 10:16:08 GMT -5
I looked for anagrams of Chuck Norris. The best I found was "I churn rocks"
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Post by Amidala Starkiller on Jan 14, 2006 17:55:17 GMT -5
In 500 years, pure energy will be observable under a very sophisticated microscope. When viewed, you will be able to see millions of Chuck Norrises doing roundhouse kicks nonstop at an incredible rate. When this happens, Chuck will emerge from his grave after a long sleep, stretch his arms and casually say, "I cannot be created or destroyed."
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auntbeast
Jedi Knight
Gimme some of your tots
Posts: 184
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Post by auntbeast on Jan 17, 2006 17:35:16 GMT -5
Hey all, Now that I've just finished writing the last chapter of my dissertation, I can come up for some air! This thread is great, but it isn't complete without this--I've watched this so many times I have it memorized!! www.compfused.com/directlink/1118/#startFunny Stuff!!  |
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Post by Amidala Starkiller on Jan 17, 2006 20:03:30 GMT -5
Vin Diesel defeated Bea Arthur in hand to hand combat. Twice.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a horn in his pick-up truck. Instead he channels all his roadrage in one gigantic roar of pure manhood. The roar is so powerful that it makes all the other vehicles implode instantly, killing everybody sitting inside them. He then roundhouse kicks his way out of his imploded truck.
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Post by Amidala Starkiller on Jan 18, 2006 0:42:53 GMT -5
That was pretty funny Cindy. #lol#
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auntbeast
Jedi Knight
Gimme some of your tots
Posts: 184
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Post by auntbeast on Jan 18, 2006 14:17:33 GMT -5
Yeah, I like Santa being taken out by Marty McFly
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Post by D-Vader on Jan 18, 2006 17:34:02 GMT -5
Instead of saying "Friend" to open up the doors to the Mines of Moria, Gandalf could have simply just said "Chuck Norris".
Oh, and Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Post by D-Vader on Jan 18, 2006 17:35:48 GMT -5
Too good not to pass on:
Christopher Walken kept a watch up his ass for 4 years. Chuck Norris kept Christopher Walken up his ass for 12.
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Post by D-Vader on Jan 18, 2006 17:41:24 GMT -5
Once more, this time with meaning.
It was proclaimed that the character Walker Texas Ranger was based on the life of Chuck Norris' grandson, Toby Norris, in the year 2030, and slightly changed to a western theme. When asked about the shows theme change Norris replied, "It's just more realistic that a cowboy sheriff is a martial arts master..." Norris then threw a smoke bomb on the floor and vanished, but had to come back because he forgot his car keys.
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Post by Jango-Joe1 on Jan 20, 2006 1:30:19 GMT -5
Darth Vader vs Luke, who wins? Neither, Vin Diesel won... twice.
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Jango-Joe1
