Stories from my past.

[D-Vader]

Every so often I remember little bits of my past. I do like to relate them to whoever happens to be there when I remember them. Usually the person looks at me and then nervously around, realizing that if they don't think quick and act, they'll be stuck listening to my story. Especially if we're locked in a car. Can't get out of that one!

The first story I'd like to relate is one about my father. It's short and somewhat humorous.

In April of 1995, I was moving out of my apartment in Austin and back into my parents home for a couple of weeks before leaving for basic training in San Antonio. We had gotten just about everything, and my dad and brother came to get me and the last remaining items from my apartment.
For some reason, my dad was angry. Not really surprising, since all during my teen years and a little before then he's always been angry. I don't remember what ticked him off this time, but I'm sure it had something to do with me or my brother.
We were about 15 miles from home when a state trooper pulled my dad over for speeding. For some reason, my dad didn't have his drivers license. The cops were talking to him on the side of the road and my brother and I were just in the truck alone.
A few minutes later and one of the troopers knocked on the window. I rolled down the window and the officer asked us if the man was who he said he was. Being good children, we both told the man that yes, he was our dad and yes, his name is Larry McElroy. The officer thanked us and walked away.
My brother and I looked at each other and laughed, because we both knew that if we'd just lied, our dad could have been locked up. Yep, had we been just evil enough, poor old dad would not have made it all the way home on that trip. Of course we wouldn't have either, but it sure was tempting to say that he had kidnapped us and that we had know idea who he was or what his plans with us were. Man... what a day that could have been.

[D-Vader]

Randall "Tex" Cobb.

After Tech School in the Air Force, you're given a chance to go home and do Recruiter's Assistance (RAP). It's basically 2 weeks of leave without actually using up any leave. I did it. It was fine. But the end of the two weeks is when the story starts.

My parents dropped me off at the airport in Austin and I made my way to pick up my ticket and hop on a flight to Okaloosa County via Memphis. I got my ticket and made my way to the terminal, but at another ticket counter, there was a man standing there with a few people. Typical south Austin family. But, I realized, the man was no ordinary Bubba. He was the one and only Tex Cobb, of Raising Arizona fame.

I stopped. I stared. I had a whole conversation in my head about whether to approach him or just believe that it was him from afar.

I chickened out. I just walked away. What do you say to a guy like that? I'm your biggest fan. Nope. I've seen all your movies. Nope. I think it was best to have walked away.

When I took my seat on the plane, there was a redhead next to me. She was cute, but I think she was engaged. I started some small talk, and then asked if she'd seen him.

She finished my sentence and said yes! She had been looking for someone to validate her sighting. Ahh, to have seen someone we've seen on the big screen.

[D-Vader]

The year was 1978, and my brother was only about 6 or 7 months old. I remember that there was a special Star Wars TV special coming out. I was very excited, because my life was Star Wars. I think that was the year I had a C-3P0 costume. Where that is now, I'll never know, but it was hot and uncomfortable, and I had wished it looked like him, rather than have a picture of him on the chest... but I digress.

Well, I had forgotten when the special came on. I think that I'd seen a commercial for it that day. But then something awful happened. We had to go to Grandma's! Not that Grandma's was bad, it wasn't. Grandma's was always good. But that was the night that the Star Wars Christmas Special came out! I don't really remember what went on, but I knew that it was on, but the TV wasn't. I was really upset that I missed it and I'm pretty sure I threw a tantrum, as I usually did at any given moment. I've been told by my parents that it wasn't unusual for me to cry, scream, and bang my head on things if I didn't get my way. Even bricks.

I had never seen that special, and still haven't. With the exception of the Boba Fett cartoon that I downloaded a few years ago. From what I read, I didn't really miss anything, and may well be better off for not have seen it. A blessing in disguise, I suppose.

[D-Vader]

My parents were really good to me. Althought I didn't get every Star Wars toy I wanted, I was kept thoroughly stocked. My mother was especially good. She would keep the little blue and white proofs of purchases from the boxes/cardbacks and when a promotion would come along, she'd send off for it.

I remember Boba Fett being offered on little yellow and red stickers on the front of the latest Star Wars figures. My mom dutifully clipped the proofs and saved them (I still have a few of them) and when she had collected enough, she mailed them off. If I'm not mistaken she sent off for two.

I don't think that she told me that she had done this, or if she did, it wasn't until just before it arrived. I say this because I don't remember being all that excited about getting it. I think she didn't tell me right away because she didn't want me asking everyday. Maybe she did tell me but I kept my excitement under wraps. Either way, I wasn't chomping at the bit every day.

I remember that morning still. It was a Saturday. I was wearing my Wild and Crazy Kid t-shirt that was baby blue with black letters. It was a good Saturday, the kind that I have always liked. Sunny, cool, dew still on the ground. I had finished watching cartoons (don't ask, I don't remember - maybe Tarzan and then Lone Ranger, with some Justice League) and had been playing. Then the mail came! My mom checked it and gave it to me! I was so excited. I ripped open the little package (white cardboard box if I remember correctly) and saw Boba Fett for the first time! He was in a little plastic pouch, but not for long! The first thing I did was check for the firing rocket, but alas, it was not there! I looked and searched and tried pressing and pushing everything, but no luck. I said something to my mom, and then she broke the bad news. Due to some kid somewhere getting hurt by some toy shooting him in the eye, there would be no firing rockets from Boba. Man I was so mad at that kid! He ruined my fun!

The dissappointment only lasted a few minutes as I took Boba to meet the rest of his strange and multicolored family.

[D-Vader]

Growing up in Blue, Texas meant lonely boring summers. Both of my parents worked, and that left my brother and I home all day. We weren't allowed to go anywhere and we weren't allowed to have anyone over.

So one day, my brother and I decided to make a cake. We had the stuff, and we had the icing, so we made it. We also found the food coloring and wondered what wonderful colors we could make our 'yellow' cake. Turns out, it all pretty much ended up green.

We covered the green cake with white icing and put it out so that dad would see it when he got home. Then, after dinner we'd all have a slice, with dad getting the first slice. Dad cut into the cake, only to swear and walk away. Needless to say, John and I had cake all week.

The only downside, if you can call it that, was that our poop was green for about a week and a half.

[D-Vader]

Why I drink Pepsi

At one point in my military career, I worked the 'swing' shift. It was from 3:30p (or 1530hrs) until the Production Super gave us the all clear signal. Usually this was about 11p (or 2300hrs.)

The daily routine was usually the same everyday. Come in, get the turnover, fix what needed to be fixed, play some basketball, fix anything that may come in or break on our shift. At some point, myself and another airman would take a 'smoke' break. We'd light up our Swisher Sweet cigars (Perfectos, if you need specifics) and smoke them outside on the picnic table. Afterwards we'd go in and drink a Coke, our brand of choice.

One night, our choice brand was out, so we opted for the next best thing, Pepsi. Whoa. As soon as that carbonated goodness hit our taste buds, we were astonished. We looked at each other and asked, "Is it tingling for you?" Yep. Something in Pepsi reacts with Swisher Sweet cigars. It gives you a sensation similar to pop rocks.

And that my friends, is the reason Pepsi is my soda of choice. That and Taco Bell sells it, but that's a story for another day.

[Unknownbountyhunter]

this is a cool idea Toby we should all tell our adventures. or should we?

p.s. Tex Cobb was voted one of the 13 toughest boxers of all time. He was extremely low on talent but was the true life Homer, HE NEVER WENT DOWN no matter what.

[D-Vader]

I started this with the intent of others telling little funny/sad/moving/unimportant stuff about their lives and sharing a little piece of themselves with the rest of us. Elizabeth has some, I think, but didn't want to put them here. Felt she'd ruin the old man on the porch in the rocking chair with wheat in his mouth, strumming a banjo and saying 'reckon' a lot. But please, everyone tell a story. I like to think of it as a campfire and we're all having a good time.

[D-Vader]

Christmas Past:

One year, probably 1978 or 79 we had Christmas at our house. Just me, my mom, and my dad. I think the plan was to head out Christmas day to Hewitt (We lived in Houston at the time.)

The time came to unwrap our presents. I was in my psuedo R2-D2 pajamas. They were gold/yellow with a psychodelic R2ish figure on the front... I'll have to dig up the picture... My dad was on the floor with me, handing out the presents, and my mom was on the couch (I think) taking pictures... she was never in any pictures because she was always taking them.

My dad hands me a gift. I tear it open with all the excitement a 6 (or 7) year old can. I read the box. "Mattress Protector." I turn and thank my mom, and I think I still had excitement in my voice, but I can't remember. I do remember that I saw it and thought, cool. I immediately tossed it to the side.

My mom says, "did you open it?"
I say, "It's a mattress protector."
"But did you open it?"
"No, it's a mattress protector, I know what that is."
"Just open it."

So I do.

Inside the box marked mattress protector were four brand new Star Wars figures. Two stormtroopers and two sand people (they were called sand people back in those days). Boy was I fooled.

That was the year I learned that what's marked on the outside of the box isn't always what's inside the box.

[Jango-Joe1]

I've had lots of presents like that